Saturday, June 17, 2006

Ju's Index.

Took the following off one of my pals. I miss her so much! When are you coming home! Meanwhile, I'm also missing my Baobei lots. When are YOU coming home? )=

INDEX OF GUYS FOR GIRLS NOT TO DATE (Can be reversed for the vice versa)

1. High-profile guys
Because girls are attracted to them like flies to food and if they take an interest in you, you should be wary. If you don't fall at their feet like all the rest do, you become a challenge, a commodity they want to obtain. After which you will be dropped like a hot potato.

2. Flirts
They want to charm the pants off girls and they develop crushes easily. They can’t be trusted with your heart. Who wants a boyfriend who pays more attention to other girls than to you?

3. Sweet Talkers
I’ll pick the moon from the sky for you, I’ll catch you the stars, I’ll give you the world. Really? Go ahead and show me. I love you. Liar. They never live up to all the sweet talk. The sweeter the tongue, the less trustworthy the person.

4. Half Assers
This breed has the distinction of being particularly half assed about relationships. They give up at the first roadblock because they’re too lazy to put in effort.

5. Guys whose exes hate them (and guys who lie about it)
There must be a good reason all these girls hate his guts, no?

6. Shy introverts
Instead of them standing up for you, you have to stand up for them. Extroverted girls should never date introverted guys. Severe inequality = severe discontent.

7. Arrogant/Cocky/Egoistic/Testosterone-laden males
Arrogant guys think they’re right all the time, they don’t give a prick about your opinions. It’s always me me me me me I’m the man I’m the bronzed god of fertility yada yada yada look at me check me out am I cool or what am I God’s gift to women or what. Eff off buggers.

8. Horny Guys
Horny guys just want to bang as many girls as they can; they will do anything to get you in the sack. And who knows what assortment of STDs they have

9. Guys who want to cheat with you
Because if they’ll do it to other girls, they’ll do it to you. Never ever date a cheating boyfriend (not yours and not some other girl’s either).

10. Guys who fall in love with you at first sight
You can’t. How do you fall in love without knowing a person? A face tells you nothing. It’s only one of many faces and you can’t be sure it’s the one she wears most often. Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are. So it is only reasonable to suggest that if you're prone to falling in love at first sight then you must be fairly superficial.

11. MCPs
Because they are insensitive pigs who place their values, opinions and needs above yours. Because they think women should do all the cooking and the cleaning, and that we're stupid broads who are only good for sex.

12. Guys who don’t make you feel alive
Only one life to live girls. Don’t waste it on corpses.

(The bait that gives you hope. Dangles juicily but when you try to grab onto it, you get a hook through the roof of your mouth)

Baiting generally abides by three important rules.

1) Charm her and make her laugh, then delve into a sadder, lesser known aspect of your life and make her feel like she's the only one you confide in because she understands you

2) Tell her what she wants to hear (or hint it) so she feels special eg. you miss her/need her/like her/could love her/you've only done this with her

3) When she's vulnerable, play catch and release or hot and cold or caring then aloof

Okay ladies. Once you recognize the bait, you won't fall for it. But you ask, how do you know that the guy isn't serious? Some of them do actually go about it that way if they really like a girl.

The answer is, I don't know. lol. Just use your head, isn't that what it's for? Oh, don't lie to yourself. That never works out well.

Isn't this like, da bomb?

Last time in JC, my class started writing this epic story. When I mean epic, I mean really epic. It started off one day in class when a girl or two was bored. So they wrote a little story about gorillas and I forgot what else. Basically, it eventually evolved to the point where everyone in the class was included, and we all had our own little nicknames. It was damn funny. There were like, little scandals here and there. Unfortunately, I can only remember one particular nickname: Sir Vadid. Then there was some really long funny name for Ju, but I can't remember what.

I got my own little role too. I was... SeeNeek. Now, say it out loud and figure out what word that is. Go on.

I really want to be seventeen again. I want to be that little cynical girl who didn't need to deal with things like romance and flowers, who only needed a bunch of good pals around, who faked cramps to get out of P.E., who looked at cute guys in the class next door, and also laughed at a guy in the class next door.

Damn, I miss being seventeen.


les said...

ahaha! the guys list is really funny! kinda reminds me of the "out of 100 guys, 75 are attached, 20 are idiots, etc.." ;P

jules said...

hahaha..I shld feature it in a column permanently so people can refer to it whenever and I can add more traits to the original list when I think of them. btw my name was Ana Banana