As I was whining about going for training on Friday (haha what's new?), my beloved and most esteemed Der said to me, "Why don't you do something that you like??" That was a tough question to answer, because as you know there are times when you love something very much but still have no desire for it. Such as training. I was whining because I was so tired from lack of good proper rest (MSN is a curse sometimes, I tell ya) and that I was out like a light for a good forty-five minutes that same afternoon.
I do not remember my witty reply to her, but I'm sure it was witty anyway. She responded, "BABE," she said forcefully, "You need to do something that you WANT to do, not something just to fill up your time." Then she reiterated something about happiness and satisfaction in life.
Sometimes I think Der has really good insights about me. I'm just passing time, for...? I don't know what for, but I know that I need my time filled up so that I don't have spare/free time to do/think/act nonsensically. Does that even make sense?
Anyway.
Item of interest: can of potato chips I bought a while back. Der asked if she could have some, and being my usual selfish self, I replied, "Not in a million years." She took it anyway (annoying!) and peered at the label. "What is this? Extreme Cheddar." She paused as she took a bite, then glanced over at me. "I bet you bought it cos it looks different, right?!"
Guilty as charged.
Facebook is a great stalking platform. Just have to repeat what millions of other more astute users have concluded already.
And what's a blog post without a youtube video??
I'm checking in to rehab cos everything that we had didn't mean a thing to you.
Some songs that I won't be able listen to again for a very long time:
1.
There's a cover by the Pussycat Dolls. Do you call it a cover version? Or is it just another version of the song? Anyway.
2.
FloRiDa is such a punk name k. I always thought it was Flow Rider. The lyrics are damn funky though. I don't really think it's the 'offical lyrics' as it claims.
3.
I think Der knows this song quite well now, considering how I kept looping it. Hehe.
And these two songs keep looping in my head. Am trying to pick out Therapy on the piano now. Haha. Obviously I'll get bored with it after a while.
Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to; They're better off without you. Arrogant boy, cause a scene like you're supposed to; They'll fall asleep without you. You're lucky if your memory remains.
Honestly, I have yet to sit down and watch the mtv for this song:
I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best.
To quote Taylor Swift at the start of the following video, this is a "sad break-up song".
I see your face in my mind as I drive away, Cos none of us thought it was gonna end that way. People are people and sometimes we change our minds, But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie. It's the kind of ending you don't really want to see, Cos it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down, And I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know it's never simple, never easy, Never a clean break, no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know, Like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe without you, But I have to Breathe without you, But I have to.
Never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt. Every bump in the road I tried to swerve. But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out. Nothing we say is going to save us from the fallout.
It's 2am, feeling like I just lost a friend, Hope you know it's not easy, Not easy for me. It's 2am, feeling like I just lost a friend. Hope you know this ain't easy, Easy for me.
And we know it's never simple, never easy, Never a clean break, no one here to save me...
Hmm how do you forget an entire country because of one person? How do you stop yourself from reacting whenever someone mentions a particular singer?
Recently got addicted to FML (psst: it means Fuck My Life), following in the footsteps of like a couple million others. Saw this one that totally made me LOL (psst: it means Laugh Out Loud):
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
The funniest part is the comments that came after, some of the choice ones being:
"also, I have the same calculator as you. *hi-five*"
"HAHHAHA, same here. just not cleaning, but saddly worse, playing"
"same here!! and have you ever played block dude? sickest game ever... i have no life..."
"TI-84+ Silver Edition here, woopwoop."
"the 84 editions are the best so much so that I had two of mine stolen so I downgraded to the 83. They also now make a pink one in TI-84 *shudder* and it's about 10 dollars more"
"Well, it IS important to keep your calculator clean... those things have a ton of germs."
"TI-84 is the way to go, hombre. Just upgrade and get that shizz sorted out."
"You still have an 83? 84 plus is the lowest model I will clean with cutips, the rest aren't worth the trouble. If you get the chance, get an 89. Takes a while to learn some of its fancier functions, but it's a really awesome calculator."
"A clean calculator really brings my spirits up! An 83 though? what are you a cavebear?"
"You guys are nubs. It's all 'bout the TI-89 :P"
"Psh. TI-83? That shit's ancient. Damn. Go study for your next Calc test loser."
(psst: TI stands for Texas Instruments; the TI-8x stated above are graphic calculators)
Math geeks are all over the world.
I am anticipating a comment. Wait for it, waaaaaaaaaaaaaait for it.........................
I'm having the day from hell, It was all going so well before you came. And you told me you needed space With a kiss on the side my face (not again!) Not to mention the tears I shed, I should have kicked your ass instead. I need intervention, Attention to stop temptation to scream.
Cos baby, Everything is f'ed up straight from the heart. Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart? Gotta pick myself up; where do I start? Cos I can't turn to you when it all falls apart, No.
Don't know where I parked my car, Don't know who my real friends are anymore. I put my faith in you: What a stupid thing to do! (When it rains, it pours) And not to mention I drank too much. I'm feeling hung over and out of touch. I need intervention, Attention to stop temptation to scream.
Cos baby, Everything is f'ed up straight from the heart. Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart? Gotta pick myself up; where do I start? Cos I can't turn to you when it all falls apart,
Can it be easier? Can I just change my life? Cos it just seems to go bad every time. Will I be mending? Another one ending once again...
Would be quite funny to sing in Simlish. Then no one knows what the heck you're singing and no one will heckle you for singing such a wretched song.
“‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand.’ First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That’s what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can’t hide. Every single successful love song of the past fifty years can be traced back to ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand.’ And every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding. Trust me. I’ve thought a lot about this.”
-Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
My thumb, under your thumb.
Der is going to declare my blog a dead zone again! But there's no time to blog when all the time is taken up by students needing help, by work that needs to be done, by friends who need waterbottles to be filled up with delicious chocolate.
Week 5! And the JC1 kids will finally be starting school tmr. I miss the feeling of being a JC student. Best years of my life!
After 8 months with my N81, I've exchanged it for an E66. If you know me, you'd know that I don't change phones easily. In fact, every phone that passes through my hands will be used for approximately two years. My first phone was the Nokia 3310, which lasted me throughout JC, until university, when I saw my Baobei using a very cute Nokia model (which number escaps me now). I asked my aunt to get it for me, and I used it for most of my uni days. Towards the end of uni, I got the flower phone (actually it's the Nokia 7630) because during my school experience, one of my colleagues was using it. It was very pretty, and I was sold.
Finally, around the beginning of this year, I started to look out for a new phone because the flower phone was coming to two years, held too many memories, plus I needed to upgrade/recontract anyway. One day I was at Great World City and walked into a Nokia store. I saw the N81, started playing around with the model, and... I fell in love. I was quite taken by it, and I decided, okay, that shall be my next phone.
But not everything was smooth sailing with the N81. Within the first week of our time together, it got cranky and my SMSes in my memory card were eaten up. Went to Nokia Care, told me they couldn't do a thing about it (why would they?), so I thought, it's okay, it's just a one-off incident. Fast forward a couple of months. One day in school, my phone ran out of batt/it hung/it SOMETHING-ed. When I switched it on, 300+ SMSes, not inclusive of the sent messages (btw, I'm a pack rat, I keep everything) were all gone. I'll be frank: I screamed in the staffroom. But there was nothing I could do about it. Off to Nokia Care for another futile trip. This time, they upgraded my software (of course, nothing was wrong with my phone).
So this time, I saved my SMSes in my phone memory instead. Twice bitten, thrice shy, you know. Then a couple of nights ago, I was transferring my SMSes over to my PC when the usual message popped up, "Memory full. Close some applications and try again." So I did. Normally, the phone starts up as usual, the stuff are all there, it's fine. Abnormally, the phone seemed to start up in factory mode. It seemed like my personalisations were gone. My first instinct was, "Oh, shit." Then when I checked, my songs and images from the gallery were all gone. Basically, the info on my memory card was wiped out. Again.
Time for another futile Nokia Care visit! I shall not describe it in detail because they say the same thing over and over again, "It's not our fault, it must be *insert random reason here*" It never is. Anyway, I sent it away for repair, and got it back with a software upgrade. Since I didn't want to deal with the N81's unpredictability anymore, I swapped phones with my mother, cos according to her, she under-utilises hers.
This phone fiasco is like a relationship. You find someone you really like. You do all sorts of things for this person. Yes, you do occasionally treat him badly (like drop it on the floor), but generally you really love the person. But there are issues of compatability; obviously there will be conflicts that cannot be fully resolved, there's always going to be a part of you that will remember the sad things and conflicts. Then finally, there's a huge conflict. While you still love him, you don't want to deal with the unpredictability and vague unease anymore, so you make a decision to remove him from your life.
You find someone new, someone who is much better in all aspects. You know he's a good man, someone you can rely on to make good memories with. You're impressed by what he can do. He's really quite something. But you can't quite form an attachment with him. There are some things that you find lacking in him, but since it's not critical, you shouldn't really make a huge fuss. Deep down, you miss your first love, the excitement of it all. The new person is just functional, someone you know will be good for you, but the love for him must be gathered rather than something you already possess.
"You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy."
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