Monday, February 25, 2008


This is quite sad. I work all week, and then I sleep all weekend. And despite all my talk about going for training... Well, it's just talk.

1/ I need to cut down on the amount of time I spend in school. But it's so hard when you know that there are a thousand and one things to do (and a thousand and one questions to mark), and that you don't really want to bring them home.

2/ I need to get my ass back into training. But it's hard when all I want to do is to sleep in on Sundays cos my Saturdays are often spent in school. Which is linked to the first point about cutting down amount of time I spend in school. But if I don't go to school on Saturdays, I'd feel like I'm not doing much work! It is a vicious cycle, I tell you.

3/ I need to get out more and meet people other than my colleagues. I mean, I love my friends at school, but I need to meet more people! I'd like to meet new people also. But the opportunity doesn't seem to arise that often. And I don't seem to even meet up with people from my school days.

4/ I need to stop procrastinating about training. I even missed the visit by my first sensei cos I'm too damn lazy. )= Actually, it's also due to other reasons, which shall remain privy to only myself.

5/ I need to move away from the past.I need to stop drowning in my work to escape from reality. The reality is that I no longer know what to do on endless Saturdays, so I try to occupy myself with school so that I don't need to think about how free I am and how there's no one I can possibly go out with at the drop of a hat. The reality is that I miss you and I don't know how I can ever stop missing you whenever something triggers my memory. When I walk by your old block sometimes, I remember you. Which is why I hate to walk about my neighbourhood because there are some places I don't particularly like to go without recalling you. I hardly go to the National Library, not only because of the ERP charges and the insanely expensive parking fees, but because we went there often. I don't like to go to Marina Square cos we spent so much time there. You see, you are on my mind, and I don't want you to be there. So I kill myself with work so that I can forget about you.

I keep hearing this on the radio! I heard it three to four times on Saturday.

Monday, February 11, 2008

i'm alive!

It's been a hectic few weeks since school started. And there's still four more weeks to go! Towards the end of the 5th, 6th week, I started feeling like I couldn't teach, couldn't make lessons interesting, couldn't get the facts across. It started from Chap 7, when I realised my kids were BORED. They looked bored, they sounded bored. I guess it's because half of them have tuition, and their tuition teachers have gone ahead already.

But anyway, I was tired, I wasn't finding any joy from my lessons, followed by a unexpected change in classes. I thought I was the only one who was feeling this way, until I shared with Der, and realised that she was feeling washed-out too. So she told me that we all need a good break, and that is why I relaxed for most of the CNY break. Only picked up work to do on Sunday, and I did work all day!

Okay, I just wanted to update so that you know that I'm alive, that's all. Haha. It's back to the grind, and I've to face two new classes of kids. Thankfully it's not the full class, just half of them. But it's still uncomfortable cos it's Feb and I still don't know most of their names. Nvm, I'll give myself till the third week of Feb to remember all their names.

Here's a song that I heard on the radio the other day. I heard another song, but I can't remember the lyrics now! Something about "when heaven and hell can compromise" or something like that. Anyway.

Cover of the song Always the Last to Know, originally sung by Del Amitri.

so you're in love with someone else
someone who burns within your soul
it looks like i'm the last to know